Sunday, February 27, 2011

I want you to know how much you mean to me. But its frustrating cause I can't explain to you how I feel! All I can say is you are only one kind of amazing boyfriend I had. You can handle me at my worst and Im very proud to have a boyfriend like you. I can not stop loving you haiqal. I feel hurt when I get to know that you cry for me. Im terribly sorry cause I've made your tears dropped. )':

i love you muhammad haiqal bin hatif!
):

Friday, February 25, 2011


Hi. I know its been so long and I went missing for quite sometime. Im not busy but Im very lazy to update like how I used to be back then. Well, I have my own diary to write anyway so I neglected my blog. I jotted down everything in the diary.


I want to be the girl you're scared to lose, the girl you can't stop bragging about to all your family and friends, the first thought on your mind every morning, the reason why you can't fall asleep because your mind is filled with thoughts of her, the reason why you lose sleep every night, the girl who you keep your eye out for 24/7, the girl that will make your heart pound when you see her and hear her voice, the girl that will give you butterflies in your tummy, the girl who you hold so delicately in your arms, the girl you put your hands around, the girl you can't live without, the girl you're willing to die for, the one and only girl you'll ever love, the one where you'll be like, " yep, that's my girl. "

Baby, thanks for being there for me, ALWAYS. Even the ups and downs. I appreciate what you have done and your sacrifices just for me. You are really a sweet and awesome boyfriend. You bring so much happiness to my life. Every moment, my love for you grows stronger and deeper. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you Haiqal. I hope we could last forever. I want you to be my last and I'll be the last for you too. To me, you are a wonderful guy that I've ever met. You are also a full of patience boyfriend although its always me who created so much of problems. Until I make you stress. :/ You are different baby.

I hate missing you. I hate the feeling that you are faraway from me. I hate that I can't see you that much. I hate your absence. But I can't force you to come and see me everyday. You have your own life too. I wish you can spend and stay with me 24/7 and never get tired of it. Life will be so good, isn't it?

I can't really find the words to explain when I heard your voice and also when I see your face. All I can say is that I like the feeling.

You are my definition of love baby. Thank you so much for brightening my life with your love...
You are amazing just the way you are..

With love,
Mazlina.

Friday, February 11, 2011

its finally saturday and im so happy. i love weekends. im meeting my boyfriend later in the morning. cause he got soccer today with his fuchun brothers. i am going to be so bored maybe sitting at one corner alone or with some people? gonna bring something just in case.

i've already applied for enrolled nurse in ktph. hopefully,i get shortlisted cause i seriously need a job. i have no other choice but to work in the ward although i don't really like working in wards. i hope i get into clinics.

as for my part-time job, i think its best to just totally forget about it. no calls no nothing. which means while waiting for ktph to call for my interviews, i won't find any other part time job anymore maybe. so looks like i'll be rotting at home. sigh!

i hate restrictions. i hate people who restrict me whatever i want. you know its very irritating to the max? i don't want people to pamper me so much. i can't even be independent and have the experience and will always need to depend on people if they ocontinue to do that to me. another thing is, this is my life. & i have my own choice to live. they can't expect me to always listen to their decisions eventhough whatever that are mention is partially true. but im big enough to think whats best for me. i am 19 years old and not a kid anymore. gosh, i feel so shackle with my life. FML.

well, if im not shortlisted as a nurse, im going to apply for air stewardess under budget airlines. maybe thats the best that i can do. but i have a problem in swimming. -.- i don't even know how to swim!

hi . yesterday marks my 2nd monthsary with baby! But both of us forget to wish each other. Seriously. Its unhealthy for a relationship. k bye. im so lazy to blog.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

If you love someone deeply, but you can't be with them, what will you do? Why?

about this matter,i'll just let it to fate. because He knows the best for us. (:

Ask me anything

Friday, February 4, 2011

im sorry i can't be an understanding enough. im sorry i can't help you much. im sorry if my words are too harsh. im sorry if i am always blabbering at you so many times. im sorry if i am your burden to you now. im sorry cause i fail to prove to you how much you mean to me. im sorry i fail to show how big is my love for you. im sorry i am not a kind of a girlfriend that you expected. im sorry i can't have a perfect heart like you. im sorry i can't be a good girlfriend. im sorry if i ever hurt your feelings in any ways. im sorry cause i don't always listen to you. im sorry cause i always make you worry. im sorry cause i made so much mistakes. im terribly sorry.

but, i love you so much haiqal.

If God gave you one last chance to live in this world , what would you do ?

i will repent and do the good things in the world.

Ask me anything

What if your own very friend changed , just because of one stupid guy. How would you react to them and why?

firstly,i'll still talk to my friend as normal . it is because he/she is my friend. so friends tetap friends jugak kan. secondly, i'll try to why its like a sudden changed since the guy came. it is because i care for my friends and i'll just comment my own friend for the best .

Ask me anything

Do you believe in God ?

yes of course .

Ask me anything

What will you do , if you're stuck on a boat in the middle of no where with someone you love ?

i'll find a solution .. haha

Ask me anything

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If I am for sale, will you buy me? :P

yes ! it is because you can teach me alot of things that you can do . :D

Ask me anything

Phoenix or Hanya Mask?

phoenix !

Ask me anything

KFC or Popeyes?

popeyes ! why ? want to treat me huh ? LOL ! jk

Ask me anything

Should I wait for iPad 2?

yes you should ! ^__^ cause its gonnabe better than ipad 1. hehehehe~

Ask me anything

its 0145am. everyone in the house is already sleeping and snoring except for my brother who is still not home yet and myself here typing. 15 minutes ago, i was on the phone with my boyfriend. oh,i met him yesterday since his off day(which is for a day in a week, so little!) first, we went to Singapore Nursing Board to get my nursing licence card ready and paid 70bucks for just the licence card(damn). p/s: i find it wasting for paying such an amount for just a small card? anyway, its useful for a nurse. i get my licence now and i should actually be proud to have one. :D ok back to my story.. ermm, so i called boyfriend to pick me under my block last minute. it was really cocked up. thanks to me. :/ cause in the first place, i thought i can go alone and meet him at Toa Payoh so from there, we can go kim keat together. but i suddenly feel so lazy to go alone by taking public transport. so yea, called qal to come and pick me and he sounded like angry cause everything was like a last minute and yesssssss, i made him rush. of course, i feel so bad. :/ only God knows how am i feeling on that particular time.

again, last minute from him. he says that he needs to go traffic police to settle something and it was an office hours timing. the time shown is at 3 plus that time. i am in a rush to Singapore Nursing Board because it is also an office hour timing. but i must die die get it asap cause im applying for work soon. so now, both places that we want to go are clash. but i knew from the start to get my things settle doesnt took so long and i believe, there is still enough time to settle his things by then. but he insisted and kept saying that there is not much time left with a heavy traffic road. unfortunately, i don't know how to ride a bike. if only i know, i will ride the bike and bring him to settle his things asap. it is really a heartpain when he show me long face which is so obvious plus doesnt talk to me at all and only God knows how guilty i feel! :/ i seriously dont know what else to do or say besides keeping quiet with the feeling of guilt and apologizing. i feel so damn a spoiler that has ruin everything. ok just drop the topic..

so after that, went to jalan kayu to have our early dinner and i know boyfriend is super duper hungry. so i brought him to eat and i had murtabak mutton with tea tarik while he ate nasi goreng mamak with ice water. something happen while waiting for our food to be sent to us and i dont wish to elaborate here. after we finish eating, we have a heart to heart talk. like seriously, i feel so tense when he kept reminding me and commented about my attitude and stuff. you know its irritating to here the same thing again and again,but somehow, it make sense to me. i just over there need to listen and trying my best to change for the better. well, he is the first guy who commented about my attitude and such. i am grateful to have him as my boyfriend. it is because, he taught me alot of things from his nagging. i still love him anyway. (:

we then proceed to punggol park but its actually sengkang riverside park if im not wrong. it stops raining and my wish is granted! ;D so we find a place to seat and to relax our mind at the same time. cause both of us are so stress with life and something personal. so yes, im feeling much better after that. mama called and asked him to come down and meet her at her house and so he sent me home immediately. reached home at 9pm. see,i've changed. i don't wanna go home so late now. i want to take care of my parents feelings and not to make them worry much about my whereabouts. showed my parents my licence card and yea, they didnt say anything. very sad. ):

now, i understand the meaning of love and also relationships. it was never easy. both have to commit and share things out. no secrets between each other and always remember your loved ones and willing to sacrifice anything for soemone. im glad to have a boyfriend like haiqal cause he is the true man and always being patience towards me. i love you very very very much, qal. <3 thanks for teaching me alot of things from love to life and life to love. your my awesome boyfriend!